Sometimes we live for the mountaintop experiences, when the valleys are what truly make the view worth while.
I know it's been ages, and ages, since I wrote last. Much has happened since my last post and I have missed writing a ton. In fact, it had been long enough that I almost wasn't able to log in, I'd forgotten my access-the way back into my inner self.
This journey toward self determination and fulfillment has been a beautiful one, an unpredictable one and a unexpected one. My latest venture has lead me back to the place of self discovery inviting me to learn about my true purpose outside of mom and what it means to be Kate.
Apparently it means to be so busy that I forget to self care, though the joy of my life is found in the quiet moments throughout my present life. I finally started reading the mindfulness book I bought and it's ironic that my need of meditation was so strong that the book finally called for me to open it, and open it I did. And here is what I found:
"A good way to stop all the doing is to shift into the 'being mode' for a moment. Think of yourself as an eternal witness, as timeless. Think of yourself just for a moment, without trying to change it at all. What is happening? What do you feel? What do you see? What do you hear?"
Sometimes all you need is to find the pause button to remind yourself of what you treasure most. I find myself behaving more and more as my mother would. Bringing laughter into a room, and brightening the day of a stranger and I smile. I may be changing and evolving beyond the world of an ex-caregiver but I still find joy in reminding those around me the value they have within my life. So for all of you who have loved me so endlessly, thank you. I love you all more than words can express, I'll be back again soon :)
As a send off for the evening: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Snf5vOAZrMM
