Happy Holidays (and thoughts)

Spending much time with family this weekend I am realizing how much I appreciate true honest communication. The true earnestness with which people ask about Mom really allows me to explain my thoughts on her health the process and what all we are going though. With often a follow up offering of volunteering of help or prayers, both which are appreciated. Goal 2 on my list two blogs back is on it's way...started working my way through the "Lot of Helping Hands" website which will be a wonderful tool to coordinate volunteers when the time comes for mom.

Goal 1 is also well on it's way with my and I developing a "rhythm," as she calls it, for us cleaning first the 'exterior' the physical things in her life, currently her house so it's prepped and ready when she might need someone to stay overnight to care for her. With the goal of cleaning up her life like one might peel an onion, layer by layer until she's physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually comfortable and ready for the hardest part of this journey to begin.

Currently waiting for my sister to arrive home, can't wait to have some family time as well as support group planning sessions and other discussions about this process. It will be nice to have a collective powwow with all of us together in person. So yay for the holidays!

Well off to rest and then head back into family time! :) Happy Holidays Everyone!

On a Lighter Note...At Socrates Cafe

Another adventure in my life has begun...

Since college I have missed the intense intellectually stimulating conversations that I used to have after an incredible lecture. The ones where you'd sit and debate for a few hours with a classmate or friend what EXACTLY that theory/literature/etc was all about. And though I find sporadic stimulation with friends or occasionally with a book/film I don't have that DAILY experience that I used to have...

Which I guess has left my brain feeling a little like a desert where a jungle of thought used to thrive. This is not to say that I don't love my friends, family, job, etc...it's just that something has been missing...and I've found a link back to it through Socrates Cafe! http://www.socratescafemn.org/! See the site for details and to find your own local Cafe!

The premise of the group is to come together and practice the Socratic Method...to bring the passions and questions of one's heart and share them with strangers for the purpose of discussion and the goal of truthful answer. Examples of questions the last two weeks are:

* What obligations do free individuals have within a community?

* Emotions? Why do men and women, cultures, and societies interpret them different?

* Is all violence bad?

* Is the Social Contract still relevant?

* What is the purpose of emotional pain/turmoil?

I LOVE IT!!! It's like a verbal ongoing blog with individuals of my local society who have chosen to become a part of a community. I can't even begin to explain how much I am enjoying the experience and knowledge of those around me. Other than to say that one scientific observer last night noted that I "must have been intrigued/excited about the discussion for my pupils were dialated!" An interesting observation which I pondered the rest of the way home :)

SO....If you ever want to join me in a discussion of life as we know it and the purpose of our existence on the earth I would be happy to continue my journey with you!

Round One...

Monday: my mom started chemotherapy and so I took Tuesday off to keep an eye on her and make sure things were OK after day one. Things went well, with minor side effects of dizziness and brief headaches, which is pretty reasonable since they are putting medically approved poison into her body. That right there STILL shocks me when I think of it. The liquid they are inserting into her veins is so aggressive that if she becomes ill, we are required to wash all cloths twice and I am expected to wear gloves-which I would anyways-to prevent risk of touching the dangerous chemicals that are currently circulating through her body! I mean REALLY!? Yes I know we learned all about chemo and radiation in science class but actual reality's a little more shocking!

On a side note there was a quick trip to the Urgent Care Monday night-see mom's Caring Bridge. Basically the short of it is, she cut her left hand, on a knuckle, on Sunday and after chemo Monday the knuckle had swelled to twice it's size which required two family rings to be cut off by the doctor. It was hard to see all of this and know it's nothing compared to what might happen in the future. I mean this time last year she had a clot in her neck which EASILY could have killed her had it shot off into one of her vital organs...which is why we're doing chemo to try to get these PSYCHO cells back in control.

Though all in all it's been a wonderful couple of days catching up with my mom and being able to help her and observe her, it's the time after I leave her and head back to my own home that I realize that it's easy now and will only get harder from here. I know she and I are both VERY strong females who will fight to the end and love each other to bits, but at the end of the day the fear is still there.

So if you are going to ask me "how I'm doing?" anytime in the future be aware it may not be an easy answer. And if you don't feel up to even asking a hug will be a major help. It's hard seeing and thinking about my own mother going through this. Honestly it blows my mind that I know someone going through chemo.

On a side note: All of the staff (from admin, to nurses, to pharmacists) at the hospital are all MARVELOUS and love her to pieces so that's very encouraging. So me not being there every day for all of her appointments and chemo treatments is not as hard now knowing the built in support she has from her caretakers on site.

Goals this month:
* Get my mom's house more organized and prepped for her
* Set up a "Lots of Helping Hands" account for her
* Continue to develop her support group as well as my own...so even if you don't have time to talk a short text or message on facebook is very encouraging. Thanks to those who have responded to this blog the feedback is very helpful! Looking forward to hearing from you more in the future.

Oh and I got INKED!!!

So during another LOVELY vacation to visit with friends (and FANTASTIC HOSTS), Kelly and Jonathan, in San Diego, California I decided to finally get "inked"!

(It'd been a goal of mine for about 5 years now and since it was only my "25 Things to Do When I Turn 25" list I decided to get TWO of them!)....at Pacific Beach, CA which has AT LEAST 2 tattoo parlors/block for the entire city radius...thinking about 100 for the city as a whole. I choose to go to Guru Tattoo (http://www.gurutattoo.com/)

where the fantastic Eno (http://www.gurutattoo.com/?section=artists&page=profile&id=15) was able to squeeze me in for two tats on Halloween! :)




One "Om" down...It's my daily reminder to be Calm and Introspective... (see more details about the "Om" here: http://hinduism.about.com/od/omaum/a/meaningofom.htm )







Me with Eno! He was fantastic HIGHLY recommend him if you ever need art!







More of the "Om" up close!


This was the start of what will, eventually, be my "Charm Anklet" the clover is something I've loved forever and thus is my first "charm"-a reminder of the fact that I'm a wanna be "Irish Lass" ;-)

Changing of the Seasons

Sorry about the delay to any who may be following me...it's been a while since I've stopped by.

Not too many changes, most the big one's about me were in my last post.
(FYI: the pub crawl in Saint Paul that I organized was STELLAR-thanks to all who participated!) Sorry again for the delay in posting...

The following are pictures from the Pub Crawl in Saint Paul, these were taken at Mango Thai, our dinner stop along the trip...

Shaun, my roomie-from a far! (He's since moved back to MI for an amazing job and we all MISS HIM!!!) and the lovely Steph Beebe! :)
Tanya and Tam-my roomie!

Tam and Betsy at Mango Thai!






My life, as of late, is turning toward a more serious focus. A new transition from a young adult, who has experienced the "real world" post-college finding a job, losing one, finding an apartment, moving to a new apartment, and the world of roommates outside of college. Now that I've pretty well settled into life as I know it-balancing two jobs, friends, family and finding time to sleep and eat...

Life's thrown me a twist...
The challenge to move into the realm of true adulthood and responsibility attempting to serve as co-matriarch for my immediate family.




My mommy, Dixie, with her sister this summer in Vermont...

For those of you who may not know my mom's health is getting worse and we are about to embark into the world of chemotherapy and an eventual Bone Marrow Transplant/Cord Blood Transplant. I ask for your thoughts and prayers for our family as the adventure begins in less than a week.

If you have any thoughts, advice or resources that might help us through this time it'd be much appreciated as this is relatively new to me and those around involved. (We are already using Caring Bridge (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dixiewolfe) and will be using Lotsofhelpinghands and Pathways shortly). I'll try to keep posting more frequently as it'd be nice to have my own support group around me during this time.

Much love to all!


(Me and Tam at Sweeney's in Saint Paul-last stop on the Pub Crawl for my b-day)

Quarter of a Century Change

So I am about to pass my own, mini, milestone of turning 25 (!!!) and am kind of in shock over how old I am. It seems like major life changes should suddenly occur after this. Yet all the major rights of passage have already passed: turning 18 (going from high school to college), turning 21 (starting drinking), which then lead me to 25...what does one do at the age of 25?

If I were to look at the guidelines and life choices of most of my peers it would mean one, or a combination of the following:
1. Getting Married
2. Having children
3. Buying a house
4. Returning to Graduate School
5. Not sure what to do and choosing to live each day with the intent to further my own self discovery (as well as discovery of the world around me)...aka ME!

So in order to expand my own realm of vision I have decided to make a list of "25 Things I Have Never Done" and ring in this change in my life by checking off my quarter-life checklist over the next 25 days! (Or mini-bucket list if you will) :)

Below is the beginning of the list:
1. Go to Minnihaha Falls (CHECK)
2. Go to Fort Snelling Historical Site
3. Try Tequila
4. Try Russian food and homemade Vodka at Moscow on the Hill in Saint Paul (Caramel Homemade vodka was SUPER sweet and tasty!) :)
5. Lead my own pub crawl, to bars I've never been to in Saint Paul, for my birthday (Did this for my b-day, which is when I tried the Homemade Vodka)
6. Get a tattoo! (Ended up getting TWO!!! See future Blog "Oh and I got inked")
(See the options below...)

By the way this one isn't me its one option I found online...


7. Trying lefse-yes I was born and raised in MN and have never had this standard staple for MN folk. (CHECK- it was very good)
8. Go on a road trip
9. ...

This list will be continued. But hey at least I have a start! Happy Quarter Life Crisis to me!

Stormy Skies...

Sometimes a refreshing rainstorm is the most beautiful sound in the world.

Peaceful, clean, serene.
Sometimes it is sad and mournful.

Other times, joyous and worth dancing in the memories of one's life.

Blessed be the rain and the restoration it brings.


(Thoughts in my head 8/1/10)

A change was needed and a donation was made-make that two donations.

I decided it was time to donate my hair. So with the help of my roomie, Tamara and her friend Tanya the adventure began!

First two 8" ponytails went to the American Cancer Society through Pantene:

http://www.pantene.com/en-us/beautiful-lengths-cause/default.aspx












The photo above was, pre-second ponytail, during my "mullet" stage as Tanya titled it...












And so the shaving stage began...

And the rest went to: http://www.matteroftrust.org/ which will take any hair/fur/nylons and makes "booms" which help contain and control oil spills! They're an INCREDIBLE grassroots organization check them out!











Below is the final product.
















And it was at this point that I realized one VERY unusual thing. I find more of a personal identity, that I am comfortable and secure in, as a woman without hair than one who has TONS of it. Just figured I would share this random insight with the world. It was curious to me.

Welcome One and All to my blogging adventure

This will be my way to share passions, inspirations and over all exciting things with you! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I have enjoyed making it! :)

Here's a little jump into the inspiration I found today which inspired my blog:

* My adorable new rose colored sun-glasses!

* The fabulous blog and photos by Ms. Sarah Dolliver: "Finding Your Rose-Colored Glasses" and "Erasing Negativity: Using Your Rose-Colored Glasses" http://www.innervantage.com/adventurer/

* And "Looking at the World Through Rose Colored Glasses" by Aileen Stanley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIGam1QzGjs

Lyrics:

I've said goodbye to Mr. Sorrow
How do you do Mr. Joy?
No need to worry about tomorrow
Look at me and you'll see I'm always happy as can be!

Because I'm looking at this world through rose colored glasses
Everything is rosy now
Looking at this world and everything that's happened
Seems as though we do somehow

Why do I feel so spry, don’t blink your eyes
Need and scared
I’ll confess certain someone just said “yes”
In a bungalow all covered with roses
I will settle down I vow

That’s why I'm looking at this world through rose colored glasses
Everything is rosy now

Others may cry, but I'll keep smiling
No cause for worry or fret.
While there are some who’ll wonder why I keep smiling?

Here is why
We’ll have fun
After all is said and done

You see I’m just looking at this world through rose colored glasses
Everything is rosy now
Looking at this world through rose colored glasses
Looking at this world and everything that's happened
Seems as though we'll get through somehow

Tell me why you or I aught to complain
Now there am I then you’ll find rainbows after everything
Now who’s the boy that said “life’s just what you make it”
He was surely right I vow
So keep looking at this world with rose colored glasses
And everything is rosy now!





Wishing you all a sunshiny wonderful day~