"This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath"
Well another month has come and gone. And I am another year older, but twenty-six doesn’t seem all that different from twenty-five. Just more wisdom gathered and character built.
Onto updates... Life is always changing, isn't it? Ebbing and flowing like a river. Sometimes a smooth course and other times we are heading down the rapids with no end in sight. That's when we grab the raft, hold our breath and pray that we make it past the next bend. So it makes sense that I have found the most calm near bodies of water lately since it seems to parallel my experiences over the last few months.
Mom is out of the hospital still. She is 100% donor. She is free of the Leukemia blasts. She is at home. She is still going to clinic once a week (especially with her white cells slowly dipping over the last 3-4 weeks-prayers for this please!). She's also participating in Physical and Occupational Therapy. She's STILL healing bit by bit. Still fatigued, both physically and mentally at times. She's also missing the companions she used to have 24/7 but also pleased with her independence. She's enjoying the BMT support group and the wonderful classes at Pathways. All in all, she is still working to adjust to the "new normal".
On the other side of Saint Paul... I am still working two jobs and trying to get mom's fundraiser up and going (PLEASE let me know if you have even a few hours to help with this, any assistance would be appreciated!!). While on the other hand I am watching my life change and branch off in ways I had not even thought to anticipate.
The passing of a wonderful friend and inspirational woman, named Karen Formanek, was one of these moments. Mom and I shared in our grief the pain and loss being deeply felt especially the mother-daughter relationship that paralleled our own. The loss felt by the daughter of such an incredible woman hit me very hard. Flash backs of the moments where I was terrified to my core of the loss of my own mother came to mind almost daily after hearing of Karen's death. The thought of losing her like Danielle did almost broke me during the memorial service. It was all I could do not to run screaming from the hall. But hearing all of the lovely and passionate tributes of the beautiful life Karen lead was a wonderful comfort to all. The loss will always be felt by those she impacted and is a reminder of what one person can do to change the world. Looking back at my knowledge of Karen I am reminded how, even when she was going through her own chemotherapy, she stopped by to visit with mom in the hospital. How she was one of the first volunteers to help assemble baskets for the silent auction for my mom and how she loved and lived with honesty and authenticity. If we can even share half of Karen's love with others this planet would truly be a changed place!
Another moment of change had been in-the-works for the last couple of months and was quickly finalized in the last week. My roommate who has been one of my main "rocks" (or sources of security) during this adventure is happily moving into her newly purchased home in less than a month. I was beginning to fear how much I would miss her absence, from when she started searching for a condo (then later a house), until I discovered that her house will only be 15 minutes away from me! :) I also am reviving wonderful relationships with many other unexpected treasured friends who continue to be a wonderful source of strength. I am continuing my own journey with Pathways and am slowly making "me time" a priority. Sincerely appreciating the occasional day off. Over all life is good. Just need to remember to stop being busy, allow myself to breath and then return to the rush of the river around me.
So for all of you who are still monitoring mom's progress, and my own, we are doing well. Just recovering from the marathon we have been running. Let's just say we are taking a minor pause at this part of the race waiting to see where our strength is and continuing on our route. Thank you all for your continued outpouring of love over the last year. Please keep in touch and if you are looking for a way to volunteer in the future please consider joining our crew for mom's fundraising event, cleaning crew, meals, etc! (email me for more details: wolkate@bethel.edu). Thanks again!
All my love,
Kate Wolfe
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