Song on my heart and in my head lately: "Have a Little Faith" by Michael Franti & Spearhead.
Sometimes life feels like you are sitting inside a beautiful snow-globe. Everything in sight appears to be perfectly placed and completely serene with a light dusting of snow covering it all, just to make it that much more magical. Then suddenly you are turned upside down and shaken so hard that you think you will break into pieces. When the earthquake finally stops you realize you have barely moved, though you can tell there's been a change. It's funny how the world around you is exactly the same but inside the globe you know otherwise. Sometimes "life happens."
Sometimes life feels like you are sitting inside a beautiful snow-globe. Everything in sight appears to be perfectly placed and completely serene with a light dusting of snow covering it all, just to make it that much more magical. Then suddenly you are turned upside down and shaken so hard that you think you will break into pieces. When the earthquake finally stops you realize you have barely moved, though you can tell there's been a change. It's funny how the world around you is exactly the same but inside the globe you know otherwise. Sometimes "life happens."
Snow Globes...
A year ago today mom received a call after a routine bone marrow biopsey. It was late in the evening, yet her doctor was calling her anyways. His first question was if someone was with her, she said, "Yes, my daughter Kate is here with me." He said, "I need you to get her and then sit down." He told her she had cancer. Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML) to be exact. A very aggressive form of it and she would need to go in-patient the next morning.
It's funny how those moments of your life become one of those TV moments when time slows and you see the soul of the character on the screen. You see every moment of their lives. How they have faced every moment of their lives. The pain, the joy, the sorrow, the happiness, and all of it seems to be leading to this point. But you still see the contorted confusion on their face. Their shock. And yet some how you know they are strong enough to get through it. That they are surrounded by so much love and their enduring spirit will fight this battle until their dying breath. Flash back to me and mom on the couch in shock and then tears. Somehow finding our way to the suitcases and cloths to be packed. Less than 12 hours later she is in-patient and starting her new treatments.
Life Happens. Whether we are ready for the storm inside the snow globe or not. When we face a life-changing earthquake like that we suddenly remember the world outside of our self. How it somehow is still functioning despite the crisis it has caused. The world has kept right now spinning even though it feels like ours has stopped. But as time passes you realize, you are wrong and that your world is still moving you just hadn't noticed the change while you were in the thick of it. And somehow beyond anything you could have imagined... you have been molded into a stronger, more empathetic person.
Life Happens. Relationships come and go. Those you expect to be there drift into your past. And those you least expected suddenly become your soul-mates. And yes I do mean plural, not in a "in-love" type of way but rather those in your life who bring purpose and a sense of life long friendship and commitment to your soul. I am grateful beyond words to say that I have more than one.
Life Happens. The jobs you expect your mom to be able to transition back to are suddenly gone. Layoffs, unemployment, and job transition are all common vocabulary for us now. Somehow the routine nature we expected is gone. So now onto a new adventure for mom! We know that even this is somehow planned, thank you universe. Mom's doctor had said a few weeks ago that he wanted her to "progressively return to work" not suddenly go back full time. And now she will be able to focus on healing completely before returning to work. Life is transition, life is change, and Life Happens.
It's all about learning what is deep within your soul. Finding out about who you are in the good, the bad, and the unimaginable. And the beauty of that space. So LOVE YOURSELF! LOVE OTHERS! And for pete's sake learn to LOVE CHANGE (*note to self*)!!!
Or as Elizabeth Gilbert says in her book "Committed":
"...I'd learned enough from life's experiences to understand that destiny's interventions can sometimes be read as invitations for us to address and even surmount our biggest fears. It doesn't take a genius to recognize that when you are pushed by circumstances to do the one thing you have always most specifically loathed and feared, this can be, at the very least, an interesting growth opportunity" (20).
As always, with love and gratitude,
Kate
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